Every Day is a New Day

I thought that maybe I didn't need this blog anymore because I didn't have as much change and new experiences in my life to write about. I look back at all the posts that I wrote before and I miss those moments when I could reflect and appreciate life. Change is life and I hope I never stop growing with it.

I've learned a lot from a technical and tactical point of view in my current position. But I've also learned how much I am capable of. When I came out of college in 2009, and all of my friends will agree, it wasn't an easy job market to start a career. It was the biggest struggle I had been through up to that point in my life. You have this idea that if you work hard and finish school like you are supposed to, then you will be able to find that job you always wanted and deserved. That wasn't the case two years ago. I would hope that things have gotten better since then. One wouldn't really know how hard it is unless they were experiencing it themselves and I truly wish those who are still in the market the best of luck because I wouldn't want anyone to go through the same things I did. I would think to myself that I wasn't good enough and wondered if I could have done anything better. And I would feel resentful that the economy was the way it was. I would even have the nerve to be angry with fate, something which is so uncharacteristic of a firm believer in having control of your own destiny. What I learned is that although life is what you make of it, it's also what you make of it with what you are given.

I'm not the type of person to settle. I dream to the extremes and I don't like to take no for an answer. So my first job out of college wasn't necessarily ideal and definitely not the salary I had expected. But you couldn't be picky so I took the job. The past year has been difficult financially, I won't even try to hide that fact. It's hard to watch as others around you make double your salary and can find jobs that seemingly fall into their laps. The kind of stress I feel from money is different that what I feel when I am trying to meet deadlines or when I have too much on my plate. Things happen that are out of your control and sometimes you wish you had made better choices. I can't explain the overbearing amount of anxiety it gives me but even to my own surprise, I somehow got through it. I imagine that this isn't the end of that kind of stress but I am at least prepared to deal with whatever may come my way.

A year ago I wrote about how I didn't know what it was like to make sacrifices and to be patient. But now I know, I know that every day cannot be a bright and happy day. It's true that you need those gloomy days to help you appreciate the warm shining sun. I learned that even in situations that aren't ideal, I can still excel. And the way I see it, if I am able to make the most out of something I didn't want, imagine how far I could go with something that I choose to pursue. You realize your worth and that in itself is an invaluable lesson.

Crossing my fingers that someone out there is on my side today and that I won't disappoint.