Nothing Makes You More Homesick...

Than being sick.

Last Wednesday night, I got a bad headache which I tried to sleep off. I ended up waking up and throwing up everything I had for dinner. TMI, sorry. The next day in school, I felt dizzy and my temperature kept changing from hot to cold. Friday was better, I thought, but over the weekend I kept feeling nauseous still. Last night, I woke up so many times. It was more than a handful. I tried to keep eating to a minimum today. I only had cereal, crackers and water but whatever I eat I can feel it going through my system. My entire stomach gurgles and it doesn't stop. So no dinner for me. I'm starting to think it's a stomach flu. Luckily, a friend knows an American doctor in Lyon, so perhaps I will have to pay a visit. Grr. (Okay, I will definitely call! :P)

So being sick when you're not home really sucks. This happened once really badly in Boston as well. You feel alone and helpless. I just want my mom and some homemade food like bibimbap. I'm not one to get homesick so much. But it hits me most unexpectedly. Usually I just miss the food but after speaking with a friend, I felt the tears filling my eyes and I miss everything. Driving, the radio, TV, my friends, favorite restaurants, familiar surroundings... I know that nothing will compare to life in Lyon once I leave. I'm not one to get homesick. People ask me if it's hard to be away from home. And honestly, I wanted to go far away and I'm used to being on my own. I like it. It's just surprising that after two and a half months it's finally getting to me. It always does.

Mon cheri, ironically, learned about being homesick in management today. And apparently, I fit the bill to a tee. You tend to eat a lot. I did this like crazy before I got sick. I had cravings so bad, especially for brownies, you would have thought I was preggo. (Which I am not... I swear!!) You get sleepy all the time. Even after hours of sleep, I have trouble waking up and I can fall asleep just about anywhere, anytime. I've had this back pain that you can't massage away even after days. It's sort of like a depression so it makes sense I guess but it's really strange.

I've gotten much better. You would think that keeping myself is enough to make me forget about the homesickness. It's actually much harder than you'd think. It's difficult not to wish I was back at home with everyone. My brothers were in CATS and they were so proud of it. What kind of sister misses that? I won't be able to see the 2nd show of my Celebr(Asian) dream baby. It makes me really sad. I know everyone at home is doing fine. Not much will have changed. It's only 4 months right? Maybe almost five...

I'm told that I should feel lucky to have this opportunity and that I should be taking advantage of my time left in Lyon. A lot of people would give anything to be in my shoes right now. And I do feel lucky! You can even read my other posts and it says that. It's just hard to ignore this longing to have the things that are so many miles away. But my life has changed drastically since I left to come here. I'm excited about being back at home and in Boston come June but I'm not sure how I will deal with all of the differences. It will be overwhemling. I guess, only time will tell.