At This Very Moment...

I wish I were swimming in this ancient pool in Pamukkale, Turkey.


I’ve realized that it’s been a long time since I took the time to stop and just sit down to write. I don’t have something to look back and reflect on. These last couple of years have been full of personal ups and downs. It’s been a battle within myself to figure out what I want to do and how I’m going to get there. But I want to be able to remember what it was like to grow through these experiences. I thought that by writing to myself and by being completely honest, I might find a way to use my emotions and energy more constructively.

I believe that I have a strong sense of self. I know who I am and what I am capable of. Now more than ever, I trust my intuition. I do also accept the fact that I am the one holding myself back. I have changed quite significantly in my own opinion. I once was extremely confident and fearless. My optimism was unwavering and I never took no for an answer. As an adult, I have faced countless challenges and have realized that I am not always in control but that is okay. Life is not always fair and that is okay too. It has made me more cautious and at times I wonder if it is to a fault. I worry A LOT and it’s hard to turn it off. My fears and doubts take over and I know that it is uncharacteristic of who I truly am deep down.

Lately, I’ve been watching a ton of inspirational videos, reading blogs and going to events. Life these days is all about finding your passion and creating your destiny. It’s almost suffocating but I think it’s a sign of the times and a part of our generation. It’s hard to feel innovative or creative but I need to stop listening to everyone else and just be true to myself. I know I can make it happen, it’s time to just do it already.

Some favorite links right now:

• It's strange to say this but it actually feels like summer here in San Francisco! These refreshing popsicles are just what we need.
• A few of the admittedly undeniable realities of becoming an adult...
• My drink of choice lately is anything with gin so this raspberry sparkler recipe is perfect. Anything with bubbly is definitely a plus in my book.
• And of course, there's nothing more I love than an awesome elopement.

I'm Back

So I have my first official work holiday off today and I'm back on blogger. Everyday on my way to the office, I always try to tell myself to make more time to focus on things that I love and for self-reflection but I never do. I feel somewhat neglected by myself if that makes any sense. I wasn't too crazy about the idea of blogging again for some reason but I think it's a good start just so that I can sort of organize my thoughts. And especially my dreams, lately I find that I have a very clouded sense of direction. It's so unlike myself to not have a strong drive or vision of my future. So hopefully, I can get it all out of my head and figure out what's been going on in there. I don't know what I'll write or end up with... we'll see how long this lasts. :)

Every Day is a New Day

I thought that maybe I didn't need this blog anymore because I didn't have as much change and new experiences in my life to write about. I look back at all the posts that I wrote before and I miss those moments when I could reflect and appreciate life. Change is life and I hope I never stop growing with it.

I've learned a lot from a technical and tactical point of view in my current position. But I've also learned how much I am capable of. When I came out of college in 2009, and all of my friends will agree, it wasn't an easy job market to start a career. It was the biggest struggle I had been through up to that point in my life. You have this idea that if you work hard and finish school like you are supposed to, then you will be able to find that job you always wanted and deserved. That wasn't the case two years ago. I would hope that things have gotten better since then. One wouldn't really know how hard it is unless they were experiencing it themselves and I truly wish those who are still in the market the best of luck because I wouldn't want anyone to go through the same things I did. I would think to myself that I wasn't good enough and wondered if I could have done anything better. And I would feel resentful that the economy was the way it was. I would even have the nerve to be angry with fate, something which is so uncharacteristic of a firm believer in having control of your own destiny. What I learned is that although life is what you make of it, it's also what you make of it with what you are given.

I'm not the type of person to settle. I dream to the extremes and I don't like to take no for an answer. So my first job out of college wasn't necessarily ideal and definitely not the salary I had expected. But you couldn't be picky so I took the job. The past year has been difficult financially, I won't even try to hide that fact. It's hard to watch as others around you make double your salary and can find jobs that seemingly fall into their laps. The kind of stress I feel from money is different that what I feel when I am trying to meet deadlines or when I have too much on my plate. Things happen that are out of your control and sometimes you wish you had made better choices. I can't explain the overbearing amount of anxiety it gives me but even to my own surprise, I somehow got through it. I imagine that this isn't the end of that kind of stress but I am at least prepared to deal with whatever may come my way.

A year ago I wrote about how I didn't know what it was like to make sacrifices and to be patient. But now I know, I know that every day cannot be a bright and happy day. It's true that you need those gloomy days to help you appreciate the warm shining sun. I learned that even in situations that aren't ideal, I can still excel. And the way I see it, if I am able to make the most out of something I didn't want, imagine how far I could go with something that I choose to pursue. You realize your worth and that in itself is an invaluable lesson.

Crossing my fingers that someone out there is on my side today and that I won't disappoint.

My Best

Jojo: But it's important to be resilient.
Me: How do you aquire resiliency?
Jojo: Just rising above. Overcoming adversity.
Me: Sigh, so it all comes from within... That's the part I'm having trouble with.

I've always been one to spend a little too much time thinking. Some days I sit here so engulfed in my dreams as the hours pass me by. And I come to realize many things. Part of me feels that I learned too soon what it's like to get everything I want. I have yet to understand true sacrifice & patience in fate. I want to be able to live simply & yet I don't want to lose my passion and drive. I don't want to lose that thirst for life.

A teeny tiny part of me misses that carefree selfish Sarah that I used to be. Life was a lot more fun back then. I miss letting my hair down and having fun. Somehow I'm going to find a way to really enjoy myself when I get there, to that point where I feel successful and deserve to live indulgently. I'm still young and I owe it to myself to try as hard as I can to live a life that is full & happy. Somehow I think I got caught up in settling & things being calm, which I had associated with being happy and having enough. But I realized I was coasting, meanwhile I should be finding the energy to keep reaching higher. It's in my nature to be that kind of person that keeps climbing. I will succeed. I have to believe that it is why I am here & this is what I am destined to do.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Saying ayo, gotta let go. I wanna celebrate and live my life. Saying ayo, baby let's go. Cause we gon rock this club, we gon' go all night. We gon' light it up, like it's dynamite.

I'm gonna be the last one standing... I just want it all. -- Taio Cruz

Unexpected Milestone

Some of the best things in life are indeed unexpected... much like us.



To believe in yourself and to follow your dreams, to have goals in life and a drive to succeed, and to surround yourself with the things and the people that make you happy - this is success! -- Sasha Azevedo

2010, you are my year.
It's in the stars that I have the heart of a fierce tiger.

End of Q2

As we close the end of another quarter, the office gets a little busier with wrap ups and end of quarter deadlines. I look at the calendar and think, "how did another six months just pass me by?" It's been more than a year since I graduated college and nearly 4 months since I moved to the West Coast. This time last year, I made my first visit to San Francisco. It's crazy to think how much has happened and changed in the last few months. I've moved to a new city (and soon to a new apartment) and started a new full time job. I've made new friends and started new relationships.

These types of reflections make me wonder, "where do I want to be at the end of Q4... or in one year's time?" As I settle into my new life and make a new home, I can't help but look forward and what may lay ahead for me in the future. Lately on my commute to and from work, I daydream about business plans, improving my language skills, applying to grad school. Or perhaps I should just focus on furnishing the new place, getting a car... and the most exciting thing to look forward to -- getting a puppy! Some day... :)

Can't Make Up My Mind

Since I've made the move out here, I've given a whole lot of thought to what I plan to do with my time here. I dream up business plans on my walks downtown and on the bus rides homes. As friends and family ask if I have made a home here forever or whether I plan to ever move back home I can't help but wonder how long I my stay in SF will be. I've done my share of apartment hunting and exploring different neighborhoods. I attempt to wait patiently but consciously prepare myself for the decisions I will have to make soon enough.

I must admit it is terribly difficult trying to weigh ALL of the pros and cons for every choice so I'm glad I'm not exactly pressured to do so at the moment. But all day long, my head thinks should I move across the Bay where there are more spacious affordable apartments? Or just save myself the trouble of having to pay for the expensive Bart and Bay Bridge tolls. Would it be better to get a car out here or to move into a new place first? I know with city living you don't really need one but then again I don't live in the part of town where it's necessarily 'convenient'. So do I go with a pricier, smaller apartment where I can be a city dweller and walk wherever my mood fancies. Or would I prefer a life outside the bustling metropolitan where I can live simply in a quieter neighborhood with hopefully much more comfortable amenities, perhaps one that would even allow me to have a puppy someday.

I guess I'm just hoping things will fall into place and the choices will be clear to me as the time comes. I really shouldn't be so concerned with it right now as I always tell myself. I should be more worried about the interview I have tomorrow. Funny how I always start thinking of the 'well, if I get this job...' sorts of things rather than focusing on getting the job first. Oh how the dreamer in me never seems to tire.

Do I seem like the type to love em & leave em? - Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber

Sunday Conversations

It's those unplanned moments that you share with a person that can mean so much. It reminds you of where you come from and to take the time to reflect on the kind of person that you've grown to be. The mornings when you wake up not knowing what to expect, only to experience the simple things in life. I appreciate these moments. I appreciate you.

I am the kind of person who won't confront others because I don't want them to feel badly. I would rather keep my own feelings to myself than have to speak the harsh truth if it can be helped. I can be stubborn and it is foreign for me to be able to ask for help. You don't always realize it but the way you were raised, and more so the people who raised you, have shaped so much of your character and who you have become. I've always had difficulty expressing myself but I really think I have learned to be more emotional and more considerate. I've learned to accept things that I cannot control and it's something that I still struggle with to this day and always will. I am driven by the doubt others may have and over time I've realized that even I can be vulnerable to that same doubt.

__________________________________________________


My little brother is on his own going to school in Florida. There were many times when I thought of moving down there with him. Not wanting him to be alone and making sure he always has a good meal. He's grown up so much and he is the true heart of our family. No one else remembers to call as often as he does and no one is as passionate about our family as he is. He knows the importance of communicating with each other and sticking by your side, because we're family. It breaks my heart when he shares his inner most thoughts with me. Don't get me wrong, I love being a big sister and I cherish that he can confide in me. He vents to me about his relationship issues, his frustration with our family, even his gripes about his roommate and living in Florida. There are times when he sounds down and it reminds me of when I was in college. He is unsure of whether or not he fits in and yet to me, there is nothing more that I want to say to him sometimes than to let him know that I am just so amazingly proud of him and that I love him so much. I wish I could be there sharing every moment with him but almost like a mother does, you have to let go and just trust that everything will be okay.

__________________________________________________


It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me...
And I'm feelin good.

Different

I've been in San Francisco for 5 days now and I can't really think of anything to blog. My move here has been quite smooth and I feel at ease in my new home. It's not awkward at all and I can definitely get used to this. If I had to say anything, I would say that SF is different. The people carry themselves with a different air. The neighborhoods I've walked around are a little rougher around the edges than I imagined. It's funny that when you are immersed in different surroundings you realize how much your roots have shaped you and your expectations.

I think what I really need to work on is making this life what I wanted. I want a life of simplicity, well-being, sunshine... a vibrant life. I don't mean vibrant in the sense that I want to be going out all the time, spending a lot, or that I want a life filled with events and drama. I mean that I want a life that is fulfilling and a life that allows me to find joy in the small things. I know that sounds cheesy, but honestly, I would love to spend more time being outdoors, eating healthier, learning to cook, taking a pilates class, decorating my home, being more creative, reinventing myself...

I'm excited.

Inspiring.

I run fast and jump high...
And I'm not scared to fall hard...
Because I know that you'll be there to catch me. ♥


I watched the television as Kim Yuna, the world's favorite champion figure skater, won another gold medal for South Korea. I have always adored and envied figure skaters for their ability to effortlessly dance and glide on the ice. It was as if they were flying. Yuna has the natural grace that is the perfect complement to her affirmative determination. She has worked so hard to become the best and yet she maintains the utmost humility. Exuding confidence in her every step and move, she knows that what she produces cannot be matched. Even in the moments when things come out short of what she imagined, she is satisfied knowing that she has done everything she can and that she is still the best in the world. Hard work truly pays off in the most beautiful way for Kim Yuna.

Announcement

I've been having a hard time trying to tell loved ones the news... Maybe it's more difficult dealing with their reactions... But either way, I couldn't leave without letting people know. It's not easy to figure out how to put this but...

I'm moving...

...to San Francisco. My last trip to Boston will be the weekend of the 20th and I will be departing New Jersey on the 26th. I have a few stops, Florida and Chicago, before I arrive at my final destination but it's been decided. It's that simple, really. Transferring stores and applying to FIDM. We'll see how it goes.

Wish me luck.

I'd love to see you before I go, that is... if you'd like to see me.
You know how to reach me.

Good for Me

Some of the things I want in 2010... some of the things I want for me.



















Not just because I want them... but because it could be good for me.

Thinking Positive

As I think about my future and what direction I want to go, there's a lot of factors that seem to cloud my judgment at times. While I love my friends and family and appreciate their concern, there are times when I find their words to be a bit discouraging.

I've been holding back with what I've wanted lately. I try to be smart and do what is most sensible. I don't want to disappoint my parents or have to turn to them if I ever run into financial troubles. But when I look at the bigger picture, playing it safe hasn't gotten me anywhere. People tell me to just find a job at home, save up for a couple of years... Sorry, but do you know how long a couple of years is? A year goes by quick, yes. But that's one year that I could be experiencing new things and making something of myself. I think I've already wasted enough time and playing it safe has yet to prove anything. It's just not me. Maybe for me, the rules made for everyone else just don't apply.

What's most frustrating is when I feel like I can't control what happens to me. I can't control which employers will call me for an interview and things like that but I should do things that I know I can do. I've started to feel like people... as much as they are just worried about me... they are just showing me that they doubt my ability to make it on my own. I've lived in different cities and even countries without knowing anyone and I've made it more than fine. If anything, that's when I feel my best, pushing myself to be different and to do big things.

It's been difficult to write this post. I don't know if I've gotten everything out since I keep erasing my thoughts and rewriting them. As I think about it again and again, the more it becomes harder to deal with every day. I just need it to stop. Stop doubting how much I want it or why I want it. Give me a quiet second to just reassure myself. That's all I need. Nothing else and no one else... In the face of doubt, I'm going to make it happen. I always do.

What makes you happy?

Since when was I the girl who didn't know what she wanted? I've never been the kind of person to hesitate. I know what will make me happy and I go with my gut. Is it possible to be scared of wanting something? I want to leave here. I want stability. I want routine. I want comfort. I want to settle somewhere and make a home for myself. I want to keep the people I love close to me.

I woke up this morning with a mini panic attack happening all in my head. I keep trying to think of the things I need to do and all I can feel is my blood pressure. I make a poor attempt to keep my cool and tell myself to take it one step and one day at a time. But nothing really ever gets done because I don't know where to start. I'm afraid that I'll take a few steps and that it will change everything. The indecisive Libra in me comes out in full force. I can't even make decisions to go anywhere because I don't know where I'll be during that time. Obviously, I'm here living at home but I guess I'm hoping I'll be somewhere else by then. The countless number of hours sitting here weighing out the pros and cons for each possibility end only in vain.

I keep music playing constantly in hopes that I won't hear myself and become overwhelmed. It's as if I have too many options and somehow I'm supposed to know what to choose for myself. One would think they are lucky to have as many options as me but I almost feel that it's what is holding me back. I could go to the West Coast and try something totally different or move to Florida to be there for my brother. I could go back to France and become more fluent. Then there's always staying home and saving money. I could take a job just to have a job or I can just part time or temp in the mean time until I find what's right. I don't want to choose something and look back later on thinking that I made the wrong choice. And yet, I know I don't want to spend my time overthinking and just wasting my chance to be doing something with myself. I want to be that girl who knew what made her happy and went with her gut.

Photo by {belle}.

There are nights that I can't sleep because my thoughts are so loud. I just want to close my eyes and I hope that when I open them again, things will be so much clearer to me. As if my patience is supposed to somehow bring me an answer. I have this dreadful feeling deep inside me knowing that what is supposed to happen is that I'm supposed to make the choice. The choice that will dictate how everything else falls into place. To be honest, I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet, to see how the rest of my life will unfold.


Blog posts are so much better with pictures, aren't they?


Just leave with me now, say the word and we'll go... - Jason DeRulo

heart.

Photo by {NixieMichelle}

A person doesn't have a heart just so that they can love. You have a heart so that you can feel every and anything. Pain, sorrow, anger or joy. It pounds as your emotions grow stronger and it pulls at you when you've lost something. When you ♥ something, it doesn't have to mean that you love something. It can simply mean that you feel something.

If I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, bleeding with all of my emotions to its extremes... then it wouldn't be my heart. With a heart like that, there's nothing you don't already feel so fear nothing.

We may not always feel it beating in our chest and at times it beats all too loud. But even when we think we've lost our hope and our heart, look inside you and it's there.

You Make Me Better

Wrote this last night...

Can't help but think of him while he's out having fun and miss him extra today. I'm a little tired so I just want to relax alone. My guy tends to worry when I am always tired and don't feel so well. He tells me "Babe, you need to work out." I have to admit it kind of sucks when your boyfriend tells you this, especially when you always have your 17-year-old brother pointing out your weight gain over the last 5 years every chance he gets. But, I know he cares and he just wants me to be healthier. It makes sense. If I took better care of myself and used my time more wisely, I wouldn't feel mentally and physically drained all the time. I know I could give us a lot more attention if I had the energy and we could grow to be a stronger couple. He wants me to be better and I want to be better too. For me, for him and for us.

My guy and I are quite opposites. He is used to having a set schedule everyday with work and every week my schedule changes plus I travel a lot. He is very realistic while I am much more idealistic. He loves to be active by working out and playing tennis but me, well, not so much. It's not that I don't want to be but often when I am so busy, taking up a sport or activity gets put on the back burner. I swear I have a list of things that I want to try and learn. I really wish that I had more time to be able to try ballroom dancing, learn golf and tennis, or commit to weekly yoga classes. I just have so much on my plate and mind, as usual. I long for that balance in my life.

I have always been that type of person that carries the burden of responsibility heavy upon her shoulders and my Achilles' heel is that I just can't say no because I don't want to disappoint people. It's not that I don't know my priorities but I just spread myself too thin. It sounds selfish but can't I just do me for a little while? But I feel like I'm not very good at motivating myself and often when I get a lot done it's because I have to do it for someone else and I can't let them down. That's why I'm always the last on the list. And when I get to me, I just don't have the energy to care anymore. Tragic flaw.

Every night he tells me he's going to play tennis and part of me wishes I played too so we could play together. I remember not having anything to do this summer and sitting on the phone watching the US Open with my guy thinking how I envy those who commit to being the best. One day, I will figure this all out. I just need to focus. Keep my eyes on the things I want for myself and I will find happiness in knowing that it will make me better.


Finding inspiration is what keeps me going.
You've reminded me to find that inspiration within myself.

Diversity Status?

As I apply for jobs, I wonder more and more if I should check that little box that says Diversity Status. I can't tell if it is good or bad to acknowledge the fact that I am Asian American and Female. Not that I am ashamed of who I am but some days I find myself choosing the Prefer Not To Indicate option. While many companies are trying to diversify their workforce, it can be an advantage to be a candidate for diversity so why shouldn't I check the box? It is already so hard to find a job these days, I should do everything I can to make myself stand out... right? Part of me feels like I don't want to stand out in this way. Part of me feels that you are already being judged by the resume you submit anyway. I don't want to think that I got a job over someone else because of my ethnicity and sex. I'd like to think that I was chosen because I was the best qualified candidate for the job. Is this not right?

What do you think... and what do you do?

Inspired

"I never completely forget myself except when I am writing and
I am never more completely myself than when I am writing."
-- Flannery O'Connor

While searching for a new planner, I came upon this quote on the Moleskine site. Now more than ever, I want to blog and write. Getting into editorial isn't so simple though. It may have to take an unpaid internship for a few months to get me in the door. I never did well in English courses as a student nor do I have any real experience writing. But here's to hoping that I'll find my way into all of that.

I know I've done a poor job posting on my different blogs these days. But lately, I've been doing a lot of traveling and personal reflection so that's all that is on my mind. Half the time I don't even get everything out the way I want to. For my Love Aujourd'hui blog, I'll have to invest a little more energy to plan out some inspiring content for this summer.

I don't like to speak or even write about this subject. But I was kind of dreading searching for a job now that I'm back from my Asia travels. I feel like it's bad luck to talk about these kinds of things with just anyone but you guys on my blog aren't really just anyone. So, for the few days that I've been back, I've only really applied to maybe a job a day. It's difficult to find something of interest to me. I know I shouldn't be picky in times like this but I don't want to be stuck in a job doing something I hate. But as I updated my resume with my graduation information on Monster, it wasn't long before I had an employer call me. One who I didn't apply to myself but one with a position similar to my 2nd co-op but a little more than that. This happened the first time I posted my resume online too but that never really worked out. Nonetheless, I have an interview for Wednesday. Time to dig out the professional garb.

This wasn't the job I was looking for. Nor is it where I want to be working, in New York City. But I think right now, I can't really complain. Some people don't even get calls. It would be quite awesome if I could tell the world that I found a job after less than a month of searching post-graduation. And while this isn't what I want to do, I can't tell you that I'd be able to sustain myself over a summer sans a job. I also don't see how I will manage to save up to move out West if I don't take a job now. It's too soon to say whether or not this employer will even want me but I just want to know that if I think it's right, that I should be trying my best when I do go out on this interview. I think that is the hardest part. Will I have the heart to do something I wasn't planning on doing... I've done it before. I just don't know if this is the time to be thinking that way.

It's all I've been thinking about these days. I'm kind of relieved to get that off my chest. Anyway, wish me luck please!

Summer Smiles

This summer I will be looking forward to...

1. Driving with the windows down
2. Exploring New York City
3. Eating healthy and working out
4. Organizing the house and my closet
   
5. Al fresco dinner dates
   
6. Partying hard and dancing my nights away
   
7. Spending time with good friends
   
8. Going down to the Jersey shore
9. Delicious barbeques
10. Hitting up the driving range
    
11. Visiting the West Coast
12. Wearing summer dresses and sandals
    
13. Helping Ryan move to Florida
14. Blogging about the things I love
15. Celebrating life each and every day

多少

[duō shao] 'how much'

Since China decided to ban blogger, I am that much more ecstatic to be in Seoul away from the craziness that I have been living in Shanghai. It's not all bad, I do have lots of fun but it gets very stressful at times. I missed being able to get my feelings out and writing to you guys. ;) I don't know if it's because I can't understand, read, or speak the language but sometimes being surrounded by all Chinese people drives me bonkers! I'm lucky to be visiting friends who can make time to spend with me and have the patience to help me get by.

Just to catch up, during the week or so I have been sans blog, I traveled to Hangzhou, which is a beautiful city known for its scenic West Lake. Kiddo and I went with some of her SUFE classmates and it was refreshing getting to know new people. I also finally met a friend's brother C, who had a lot to share and was so nice to treat me to a 2 hour lunch of delicious Shanghainese food. Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that I have many Chinese friends whom I love and adore and this has nothing to do with them but my issues are with the way locals do business in China. I just need to vent. :P

Lately, it feels like all I have been doing in Shanghai is spending money, moneyy, moneyyy. I somewhat expected to because I have been trying to shop a bit since it's cheaper in Asia, plus there are a few things my mom wanted me to find and a few people that I wanted to find gifts for. I've never minded spending money on things I like or on things for other people but man, what bothers me is that I really feel like these Chinese people are trying to jip the shit out of me.

I ask how much something is and they have no shame to just charge me ridiculous prices on items that are fake and cheap, prices that are higher than what I could pay even in the states. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't feel good to buy things when you have to haggle prices because you know people are trying to take advantage of you. They tell me that it's good quality, and oh you're so pretty, I'll give you a good price. Sometimes, I hide that I'm American and say that I'm from Korea and pretend that I don't speak English just so that they'll leave me alone or so they won't give me that look like oh she must have money.

Okay, so maybe I'm a bit soft and I give in too easily. I should know better going to places like that. But wow, when people start following you for 15 minutes because you're wearing real Gucci sunglasses and they don't give you any freedom to shop as you please, I think that's crossing a line. I should be able to decide what clothes look pretty and if I want two of something I like, not because someone is hovering over me, shoving items in my face. Sure, this is what they do for a living but I'm starting to think that this 'price' is really not worth it.

And, not to mention that there is absolutely no standard for customer service. In some stores, the younger girls are quite nice and very attentive but this one event made me furious. If you negotiate a style for your hair (note: not an item or accessory, your physical self) and a price you are willing to pay, a business should be able to deliver. And if my hair comes out looking like a freaking 老虎 [lǎohǔ] 'tiger', I shouldn't be forced to pay that price or be left sitting there for hours waiting for management to do something or hear threats like do you want to call the cops? I don't understand how they don't take responsibility for what they do. Sure, as an American we have different expectations but shit, if I was Chinese you wouldn't be saying things like there is nothing we can do about it.

As you can see, this little break to Seoul was very much needed. I don't know how much more I can take of them trying to rip me off even though I know there is still more shopping that needs to be done. Sigh. Sorry for sounding so angry but nevertheless let's turn this around. Cheers to my new experiences and learning to not let it get the best of me. I know it didn't sound like it in this post but I am very happy to be where I am, doing the things I am doing... finding out a little bit more about myself and what I want to do.